BURNING UP IN THE SHADE

Patient:
pathetic queer kid one million
diagnosis:
the body is wrecked, the mind is fucked.

all he remembers is....

I embraced it so kindly like the lovers that kissed
your lips and then stabbed the back that the nails had missed.

sitting on the speeding train
my mind is speeding, man.
fucked up in this place
can't stop seeing his face
not blaming you, not blaming me
no one's too blame, can't you see?

why can't you just accept...
your life is no better than mine...

you said the drugs would kill me
when actually all they did was thrill me
we're listening to the same song
but you're hearing it all wrong

turns out we don't want the same fucking thing...
so just erase any saved messages.

sitting on the speeding train,
break-neck speed right down the drain.
angry that you pulled out my horns
and then suddenly your skin felt like thorns...
when I touched it...
when you actually allowed me too....

I've burned some of my bridges...
only the ones that were already collapsed
I remember when you were interested
and how you made me relapse

are you an enemy or a friend?
a beginning or an end?
did you mean all of it?
or did you just pretend?

the disregard for feelings was blatant...

do you know how it feels
to be betrayed by the people you once held closest to you?
in the same situation, what would you do?

would I throw it in your face as a weapon...
like you did?

it's ok to accept that we're only human...
after all.
you're so naïve to think a superman exists
inside you...
absurd to think you know what to do...
I wonder if anyone has ever truly loved you.

Absurd.
What'd we get? What'd we let?
to get us here and now we can't forget
the prices that were paid
that motherfucking man was made!
but that was in the shade...

I wish you had acted differently...sensibly...
wish you were walking down this road with me...
it's only leading to sunshine...i'm looking for mine....
I'm looking to get out of the shade.