NOTES ON ANTOINE

it was the way you smiled at me
and the way you were hard to read...
your casual ways of keeping it moving
when you talk...
your adorable boy-like face...your beautiful eyes
your rough salt and pepper stubble...
it was the way your lips looked when they were kissing me
from across the table...
and you held my hand...oh...you held my hand...
your fingers lightly rubbing against my skin...
you fished for the right answers...
and I gave them...
your leg brushed against my knee...on purpose.
i slid down in my chair a little
so that my knee was pushing firmly into your inner leg...
you smiled...
i slide down farther until my chest was level with the table...
i chuckled at the thought of how it must look...to the people around us
i hooked my left leg against your right leg and pull it towards me...
you brightened up and asked if I wanted that.
i said yeah...you knew what I meant...
i knew what you meant...


i loved every step of the walk next to you...
i could have walked with you for hours...days...
you kept catching me looking at you...
you would blush just a little...
you excitedly snapped pictures of us...
i rejected every one of them...
you agreed on the inside...
but complimented on the outside....
you were turning frantic...
you were getting last words...
you said to kiss you now...
i did...
we brushed our lips against each other's slowly...softly...
i felt your breath against mine...
i wanted more time...
i wanted to stay that way...
i always want what I can't have....