REQUIEM FOR A JUNKIE

i remember the early dawn light
when you handed me the pipe
on the rooftop of the Attorney St lofts...
that was the next morning after the party
where hundreds of people over did it...
while the drag queens performed
under the stars...
where that morning the worst hang-over
belonged to the dealer
who lost his stash...
the next night when we shouted with glee
like true junkies...
when we found the five hundred dollars
worth of sparkly white rocks
hidden in a small pouch zipped up in a black fanny pack...

how we would say "never trust a junkie"
when we were scoring on 2nd St...

and how we laughed because only a dealer would wear a fanny pack
and when we laughed because only a stupid dealer would carry this much...
around in a fanny pack
when we decided that we should do the drugs
instead of putting the word out to lost and found...
because the dealer was stupid anyway...
and deserved it...

i remember when you burned your mouth on the crack pipe
and your lips were singed and charred....
and your tongue blew up like a balloon.
and the crack was a fine substitute for the heroin...
that night.
when you flipped out and almost jumped off the six story roof...
as me and her watched you...
too cracked out to do anything...
or care...

and how the skater kids on the corner started laughing
at you walking in the street...
completely naked....
and J*** broke up with me when he came home from work
and found your clothes burnt to a crisp in the bath tub...
and he threw the wet and charred clothes in the trash....
the bible in his hand...
and sixes in our heads....
just like true junkies...

i could never forget when Kelly came home from work
and realized her five hundred dollars
that was hidden under the television
was missing...
just hours after I had sneaked you in to use her shower
and eat her food...
and she screamed at me and accused me...
with your used needle in her hand...
and later that night
yet another club we frequented...
86'd you...
for stealing L***'s tips off the bar...
like a true junkie....

i remember how you could never walk away from danger...
and the fist fights in the streets became a daily occurrence...
and the track marks became infected...
your tattoos melting into raw bloody scabs...
your soul melting in your dilated eyes...
and how I used to have to pull the needles out of your bruised arms...
after you'd nod out in mid-shot...
and I'd check your breathing
to make sure you were still alive...

and every word I sang
became about the highs....
and every moment we roamed these heartless streets...
became about the lows...
and every vein that popped...
became about your inevitable over dose...
not this time but oh so close...

your beautiful body turned into a ravaged zombie...
your tattoos became like smudged water color paintings...
your lips became dry and cracked...
your eyes became lost...
and you could no longer afford the costs...

the way we were speeding towards nothing...
not realizing that death would wait for us...
and that there was nothing
to catch up to...
until there was nothing left to do...
but get high...
but to die...
like reckless soldiers...
who would never grow older...

when you made me realize...
you'd eventually be part of my break down, baby
now get out...
and that your love was just like drama, baby
work it out...
you threw the addictions in my face
as if you were innocent...
when you were the one who turned me on to them...
when you took our love and stomped on it...

i'll throw roses on your coffins...
just like the ones you gave me 14 years ago...

take it all with you
and hold it close to you...
spare me the outcome
of which you've succumbed to...
and baby...rest in peace...